


Apple Pies, Tea Parties and AK-47s

by caramelt



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Meeting the Parents, oblivious!Eggsy, of sorts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-17
Updated: 2016-08-17
Packaged: 2018-08-09 08:31:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7794754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caramelt/pseuds/caramelt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s been almost a month since they’ve started dating and Eggsy guess it’s about time he meets Harry’s parents.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Apple Pies, Tea Parties and AK-47s

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Azilver](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Azilver/gifts).



> Based off a wonderful prompt by Azilver: 
> 
> Harry takes Eggsy to meet his parents (are they together yet? engaged? pre-get together? You decide). Mummy!Hart is an awesome older lady and Father!Hart is a retired Kingsman who wants to just read his newspaper.

Eggsy checks and double checks his duffle bag, making sure that he has everything he needs for Daisy packed in.  
  
Daisy's diapers, check. Daisy's milk bottles, check. Daisy's clothes, check. What else?  
  
"Everything's going to be fine Eggsy," Harry reassures , hoisting a sleepy Daisy higher on his hip as he placed the bag with Eggsy's change of clothes in the hood of the car. "My parent's will love you and it's not often that we get a weekend off, so relax."  
  
Eggsy sighs as he closes the duffel bag and places it with his in the car. This is it, it is almost a month into their relationship and finally his turn to  meet the parents. Harry's turn to visit his mom took place a little over a week into their relationship, after all the rehabilitating from V-day that had Harry and Eggsy walking on eggshells around one another till Roxy and Merlin had to stage an intervention which ended with Eggsy tearfully confessing his love to Harry.

  
Harry's first time meeting his mom was... definitely an experience. His mom was understandably against the idea of Harry being his boyfriend - Eggsy remembers her pointing a finger at Harry and telling him a few choice words on her opinion of him - but she eventually gave in. It probably helped that Daisy really loves her Uncle Harry as well.

Eggsy buckles Daisy in the backseat and goes to strap himself in beside Harry who was the one driving this time.

“Harry I know this weekend is supposed to be just about us and your parents,” Eggsy says, taking Harry’s hand into his and giving it a light squeeze. “I'm really sorry about mom being busy with work and all, I mean thankfully Roxy is able to look after JB for us but she said that taking care of Daisy will be out of her league and--”

“It's no bother, Eggsy,” Harry smiles, squeezing back. “Plus I'm sure mother will be thrilled to have a little girl around her house. She’s always been talking about how much she wanted a daughter.”

Eggsy winces but says nothing as Harry starts the car and their long journey to his parent’s house.

 

*

 

Both Eggsy and Daisy stares in wonder as Harry drives them up to what is probably better called a mansion.

“ _This_ is where you grew up?” Eggsy asks in amazement. “Bit much innit?”

Harry chuckles as he spots his mother waving at them from the main door and gives her a little wave.

“Holy shit, there is a fountain. There's a _Cupid_ in the fountain,” Eggsy says in a hushed voice, “Daisy look, there's a Cupid in the fountain!” Daisy replies in excited babbles as she tries her best to crane her tiny neck to see the fountain.

“I grew up in a London apartment, not unlike the one we’re staying in now. It just so happens that my parents retired with a very large sum of money and even after donating a sizeable amount to charity, did not know what else to do with it hence, this place.”

“What did your parents do? Banking? Investing?”

“My parents will never survive doing anything that boring.” Harry says, deadpan.

Eggsy did not reply, choosing instead to continue staring at the mansion in all its opulent glory as Harry parks the car by the driveway. His worry about meeting Harry’s parents consciously pushed away in lieu

That worry of course came back in full force the moment both of them, with Daisy walking in between them holding both their hands, started making their way up to the mansion.

Harry’s mother is a friendly looking, bespectacled old lady that looks to be in her early sixties but was probably in her seventies already, with winter-white hair and a warm smile that should have assuaged Eggsy’s nervousness. “Harry dear, you said you'd be an hour ago. Your dad will be so excited to see you again. He was up all night with Boris making sure your sleeping arrangements are suitable.”

Harry is the first to be pulled in for a hug, having to bend down a little to give his mother a hug. “It's good to see you mom.”

And then it was Eggsy next. His mind goes on auto-drive and he sticks out a hand, presumably for a handshake. It was only a second later that he realises that a hug was probably what Mama Hart was going for and not a handshake. The lady, bless her, simply chuckles and pulls him in for a tight hug.

“I'm Martha, it's nice to finally get to see you Eggsy,” Martha says. “We’ve heard so much about you from Harry.”

Eggsy turns and raises an eyebrow at Harry at that, _heard so much about me from you huh?_

Harry pulls a face and looks away, turning to fuss with the bow’s on Daisy’s head instead.

“And this little darling must be Daisy,” Martha coos as she bends down to Daisy’s height, showering her with little pats and rubs on the head that had Daisy laughing. “I've a playroom set up right next to your bedroom, it has dolls and a tea set should you wish to hold a tea party. Will you like to see it?”

Daisy nods and claps enthusiastically at that.

_Oh right, toys. That's what I forgot to pack._

Martha stands up slowly, with a hand on her back, and holds a hand out which Daisy accepted all too happily. She motions for Harry and Eggsy to come in before leading them, with Daisy by her side.

Eggsy is pleasantly surprised at how quickly Daisy took the Harry’s mother. She is normally extremely shy around strangers. Then again, Daisy was like that the first time she met Harry too. Maybe it's a Hart thing, their superpower maybe. The ability to make babies love them. But with a sample size of one Daisy, Eggsy isn’t sure how accurate that superpower will be.

“Harry! You're finally here!” A voice rings out from the top of the staircase in the middle of the foyer. _They have a foyer._ “It sure took you long enough.”

Harry laughs and went up to give the old man who made his way down a hug, “Good to see you too dad.”

“And this young lad must be Eggsy,” Harry’s dad, who looked like he must have been a soldier or maybe part of the marines when he was younger, says. With a finely groomed moustache and a thick head of salt and pepper hair that was slicked back from his forehead, Eggsy could definitely see which side of the family Harry got most of his looks from. “It's nice to finally get to see you young man, the name’s Tom.”

Eggsy inclines his head before, finally, giving Harry’s dad a firm handshake. “Hi Tom, it's good to finally be here.”

A clap rang out and they both turn to look at Martha who was standing by the entrance to the sitting room.

“You boys go have fun catching up in the sitting room, I'll have Boris come in with some tea and crumpets. Now let me get this little miss settled in her playroom then we can all have a nice chat.”

 

*

 

The afternoon passed by relatively smoothly, with the only major accident that happened today being how Daisy got lost in the mansion trying to find Eggsy and ended up crying up a storm before Martha managed to calm her down with the promise of freshly baked apple pie.

It was soon dinner time and Eggsy went to help Martha get dinner ready, with Harry and Boris helping to set the dinner table.

Martha spends the time asking Eggsy about his mom, she must have heard from Harry about Dean as she did not mention anything about Eggsy’s ‘dad’. Eggsy asks her questions in return, _How was Harry like? Did he do anything stupid when he was young? Wait, he confessed to a teacher when he was in kindergarten and got rejected? Oh man, that's_ **_really_ ** _adorable._

Their conversation ends with Martha promising to show Eggsy her collection of photos from Harry’s childhood. Now that's something to look forward to.

 

*

 

They were passing round the mashed potatoes when Eggsy’s Kingsman issue glasses started flashing, an incoming call from Merlin.

Eggsy stands up, planning to answer the call in the kitchen or somewhere else that's safe but Harry motions for him to sit back down before putting on his glasses, “Yes Merlin?”

Eggsy stares at Harry and puts his own glasses on before sliding his gaze over to Martha and Tom who are acting as if their son is not talking to someone over his glasses. Martha catches his eye and smiles sweetly at him before turning to her side to feed Daisy who was making a mess of her dinner. His parents sure are taking this surprisingly well.

Then again, Harry probably told them about his job a long time ago.

“I am so sorry for interrupting this family dinner but I dinnae expect Tristan’s mission to go tits up this fast and the lad needs a safe house right now or else he can kiss his seat at the table good bye,” Merlin explains over the sound of keys clicking. “With this being the closest safe house to him, I'll be sending Tristan here. Is that okay Martha?”

“Sure Lachlan, send the boy over. His mother will be awfully cross with me if I said no.”

“Thank you so much Martha, Tom. I'll be sure to send over a bottle of wine tomorrow to make up for it.” With that Merlin logged off.

Eggsy turns to stare at Harry’s mother, how is she listening in on their conversation as well?! Martha taps the side of her glasses - _Kingsman issued glasses? -_ and went back to feeding Daisy.

Eggsy could hear Harry snickering beside him and lightly punched him in the arm.

 _Are you sure it's okay for them to do that?_ , Eggsy mouths to Harry.

Harry nods, sliding a hand under the table to give his thigh a light squeeze before going back to his own dinner.

If Harry isn’t worried about the possibility of his parents being caught in a fight that might or might not follow Tristan, then Eggsy guesses he should probably be okay with it too.

 

*

 

Tristan arrives just before bedtime. Well, Eggsy and Harry’s bedtime. Daisy is in bed already, lulled to sleep with Martha reading her a bedtime story of a man on a quest to find something really important to him.

Eggsy had just came out of the shower when they heard the door open and in trudged a worn out Tristan who cracks a tired smile when he sees Eggsy leaning over the banister of the staircase.

“You look like shit Tristan,” Eggsy says with a smile as he went down to help lead Tristan to the dining table to sit.

“I feel like shit,” Tristan replies with a snort.

By then Martha and Harry is already helping to reheat part of the dinner they saved for Tristan, Boris went to fetch him a change of clothes and Tom was helping to tend to any minor injuries he can find.

“I'm so sorry for imposing, Martha,” Tristan says, “I should probably be out of your hairs by tomorrow, once Bors gets here to pick me up.”

“Oh shush, it's no trouble at all,” Martha scolds as she puts a plate of rib-eye steak and a glass of water in front of Tristan. “Now eat up and help me say hi to your mom for me when you get home. Tell her she’s welcome anytime here.”

“Besides, it's not often we have this many people in our house,” Tom says as he applies antiseptic to the cuts on Tristan’s face, muttering under his breath for Tristan to not move around so much. “There, I've done all that I could. You should probably get the rest of your injuries checked out the moment you can.”

Tristan inclines his head and tucks into his dinner, finishing it in record time before heading off for a much needed shower.

Eggsy and Harry return to their bedroom and was just preparing to go to bed when they heard gunshots ring out. They both share a quick look before grabbing the pistol they made sure to always bring with them and running out. They met Tristan in the corridor, hopping around as he tried to put his suit back on.

Just then Daisy started crying and Eggsy was about to check on her when Martha comes out, motioning with her head for them to check out what had happened before heading for Daisy’s room.

The three of them - Harry, Tristan and Eggsy - slowly made their way to the window facing the driveway and peeked out. With their glasses on, they could just about make out five figures hiding in the shadows, waiting for them to make their move.

“Shit, they followed me.” Tristan curses as he cocks his gun and moves to open the door. “I didn't think they'd follow me all the way here. They sure are meticulous.”

“Hey, at least now you know there are people out there that wants you,” Eggsy smirks as he too readies his gun.

“Oh shut up.”

“Boys, behave.” Eggsy startles when Martha’s voice appears, in the background he could hear Daisy whimpering and the sound of keyboards clicking. “Now, I've secured the perimeters and confirmed that there are five hostiles by the garden and the fountain. They should be easy enough for your three to finish.”

 _What is going on?_ Eggsy whirls around to face Harry and Tristan, who looks close to bursting out into laughter, with what must have been an incredulous look on his face.

“Eggsy dear, I should probably explain a few things,” Martha’s voice continued through the glasses. “My name is Martha King Hart and I was better known, back in the days, as Merlin.”

“Merlin?! As in, _that_ Merlin?” _What the actual fuck?_

“Yes Eggsy, I was the Merlin who groomed the current Merlin you three know and love,” Harry snorts at that, “Now that we have that over with, you three should probably get on with taking out those five men messing up my garden.”

 

*

 

They had successfully taken down four of the five Russian mooks that had been waiting for them. The fifth one is still hiding somewhere and Eggsy barely caught a glint in the corner of his eye before he was being pushed down to the ground by Harry, narrowly missing the bullet that was coming his way. Another gunshot rang out and Eggsy looks up to see the man that had taken a shot at him dead on the ground from a gunshot that hit him square on the head.

But Harry and him had been busy avoiding the bullet and Tristan was searching the other half of the garden so who was it that--

Eggsy looked up and saw Tom standing by the window of his bedroom with a rifle in hand.

_Don't tell me..._

_“_ I probably should also have mentioned that Tom was Tristan, before he retired and the current Tristan won his seat,” Martha says, “By the way, congratulations boys for a job well done.”

Eggsy smiles at that and thanks Martha and Tom for their help before tapping the side of his glasses to turn it off.

He slid his hand into Harry’s as they both made their way back to the house.

“Why didn't you tell me about this?” Eggsy asks, not mad at all, just more pleasantly surprised than anything else.

“I wanted this to be something you figured out for yourself,” Harry replies, “You were so worried about how they'd feel about you and our relationship, and I just wanted you to see that they'd love you for who you are. They've seen pretty much everything after working at Kingsman for as long as they have.”

Eggsy flushes at how Harry had known all along about the worry he was sure he hid well enough.

“They're awesome by the way.”

“Yes I know, I grew up with them. Although they do get pretty terrifying when they get mad.”

 

*

 

The rest of the weekend passes by in a blur. True to his word, Merlin got Bors to fetch Tristan from the mansion the next morning and dropped off a bottle of vintage red wine that Martha said she’d use for dinner that night.

Eggsy finally got to see Harry’s childhood photos and he spent the day with Martha gushing over how cute and fluffy Harry’s hair was. Harry and Tom wisely chose to not join in, instead choosing to play with Daisy who was thoroughly loving her weekend at the Hart’s.

When the time to leave finally arrived, Eggsy had trouble coaxing Daisy to leave her Grandmama Martha’s side ( _“Oh sweetheart, you're welcome to come back anytime. We’ll have a tea party again the next time you come!”)_ , only managing to get her into the car once she had tired herself out from crying and fell asleep.

“It's been a pleasure Martha, Tom,” Eggsy says after buckling a still sniffling Daisy into her booster seat. Harry was busy loading all their bags into the car. “I've had a wonderful weekend.”

“Eggsy dear, there is no need to be so formal with us,” Martha chuckles as she pulls Eggsy in for a hug. “Tom and I will always be glad to have you around. We couldn't have asked for a better partner for Harry ourselves.”

Eggsy definitely did _not_ tear up at that. No he did not.

Eggsy stuck his head out of the car to wave good bye to Harry’s parents as they slowly left the mansion, only sitting back down when he could see them no longer.

“Y’know,” Eggsy says as he buckles himself down, “Your mom promised to tell me all about your kindergarten confession the next time we go over.”  
  
“ _What?”_ Harry exclaims, Eggsy smirks at the sigh that follows, “Guess we won’t be free to drop by anytime soon then.”

“Really? Daisy will be so disappointed. She really wants to play with her Grandmama somemore you know.”

“... Fine, we’ll drop by again next month.”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you it’s to your liking Azilver!


End file.
